I bet you have heard, "eloping is selfish", "they probably don't have any family and friends", "they are only doing it for the gram", "there's no way eloping can be special"... The sad reality of the wedding world is that no one will be truly happy with every single detail of any kind of wedding out there. This is why so many couples are choosing to bring back the focus on what matters most instead, two people in love that wants to commit their lives to each other.
We've all heard that elopements used to be any marriage that was performed in haste and secrecy - a marriage often unapproved by parents, a typical Vegas runaway wedding.
Today that is history.
Eloping means to have an intentionally intimate wedding experience that brings back the focus and emphasis on the lifelong commitment between the couple & allows them the freedom of vulnerability.
Couples simply choose to elope because they don't resonate with the traditional wedding world, they want to simplify their wedding day by doing what feels most important to them and often with the people that is closest to them. Sometimes they add in a little touch of adventure, a unique ceremony or even some adrenaline. This is what makes the eloping world so unique - it gives couples the freedom of choice, a clean slate of how they can spend their wedding day together. It throws out the outdated traditions and the insane expectations of the traditional wedding world.
Couples elope because they find a form of peace and tranquility so rarely found in the world today.
The way your wedding day makes YOU feel, MATTERS.
Now Imagine YOUR Wedding Day:
You wake up long before sunrise and think about how your own wedding day has finally come and that thought brings you even more excitement for the adventure that lies ahead, you head to your carefully selected wedding venue and start hiking up that marvelous mountain you've fallen in love with by only seeing it in pictures, you and your partner finally made it to the top and start experiencing the sun peeking through the mountain peaks as you read your vows to one another, you look up into your partners eyes and see this view reflecting from the eyes that you will admire for a lifetime and the feelings your experiencing is indescribable - you both tear up not only because of your vows but also because the beauty that you're surrounded by makes you feel at awe for how extraordinary life can be & all you do is wishing these intimate moments will never ever end...
Wow, writing that reminded me of my own elopement day. An elopement day can look like anything really, if you're not a morning person, opt for sunset. If hiking or anything adventurous is not you and you much dream of a slow paced, laid back elopement day, then have that by choosing simpler activities like hanging out in a hammock or ending your day with stargazing and the sound of a fire pit. The options are truly endless.
Here's a few burning questions answered.
IS ELOPING SELFISH?
Growing up I could never understand why people have such high expectations from friends and family when they get married. I mean, think about it. Your parents sometimes have to take out loans or dig into their retirement savings just so that you can book that fancy venue with the pretty exposed brick walls and big chandeliers. Friends have to take paid time off and travel far to be there. Some that's still in college or struggles to get by have to drop everything to find a way to be at your wedding... and then you expect them to buy you all these gifts, oh and fund your honeymoon!
If you ask me, traditional weddings are more selfish.
Elopements allows you to take all this stress and all these ridiculous expectations from your friends and families shoulders all while staying just as valuable as any other wedding day out there. After all, it is your wedding day.
If you think of all the weddings that you have attended in your life, what do you remember? What do you think will people remember of your wedding day? In one year or two or even ten years, everyone else will have forgotten pretty much everything about your day but you, you won't. Every year it will be YOUR anniversary, you'll be the one reminded of your day and the one that will find value on looking back at how you spent your day and all the details around it. Don't regret a day that's important to you and your partner, choose to spend your day in a way that you'll always want to be reminded of.
Elopements is in no way selfish.
WHAT IS THE ELOPEMENT "RULES"?
I am happy to tell you that elopements have zero rules. I love to tell couples that if they think of the most incredible day they spend together in their lives, how does it look like?
Why not make that your wedding day?
What's cool about elopements is that you don't have to fall into the traditional trap of how weddings are held. You truly can let your imagination, passions and dreams run away with you and create a wedding day that is as unique as the two of you. The type of wedding day that you wish to relive for centuries to come. Because the way you spend your wedding day matters. The way your wedding day makes you feel, matters.
I have seen couples choose to rock climb to their ceremony spot, I have seen couples invite a few closest friends and go skiing together and I have seen couples spend their day hiking to their ceremony spot.
The horizons of elopements are endless.
So ask yourself, what does you dreamiest day look like with your partner?
IS ELOPEMENTS CONSIDERED A CHEAP AND RUSHED WEDDING?
Money doesn't value a wedding day. You and your partner does. Whether you spend that average traditional wedding price of $36 000 or way less than that on an elopement, money doesn't define how valuable your day is. What truly makes it valuable is the memories you'll create with your partner. Whether you decide to spend money on an unforgettable experience instead of fancy tableware is up to you. Elopements does allow you to put money into things that's more important to you like your home savings or your honeymoon, it doesn't break the bank but the average highly depends on how and where you choose to elope.
Did you know that wedding day memory loss is a real thing?
If you have ever been to a wedding, did the bride/groom have time to stop and look around and really take in the moments they are experiencing? Or did you see them hopping from one table to another trying to say hi to every single person, then hopping to the cake cutting then to the first dance and all of a sudden they didn't even have a chance to finish their meal. THEIR OWN CAREFULLY PICKED OUT WEDDING MEAL! How can anyone remember such a rushed day?
Elopements are a slow paced, all day experience. Where you have plenty of time to stop, look around and take in all the memories that you're creating with your partner. You have time to stop and stare into your partners eyes and tell them how amazing it feels to be finally married. I can remember every time I told my husband "we are finally married!" on our elopement day - I just loved getting married to him so much and I am so grateful that we can remember all our moments we shared on our day. Most couples book me for eight hour to two day elopements, just imagine how many epic memories are made during that time!
CAN I ELOPE WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS?
Absolutely. Just like I mentioned above, there is no rules as to how you spend your elopement day. You can have some of your closest there and not invite anyone that you don't want to have there. You deserve to create a safe space where you and your partner can read your vows with no pressure and if that involves some family and friends then make that happen! If it involves not having certain family and friends there - it is OK not to invite everyone!
Besides, no one has the right to be at your wedding. A two person elopement is just as beautiful as a five or ten person elopement with some of your closest. The people who you choose to invite to witness you two making the most incredible lifetime commitment - it's a privilege for them to be there with you, it's not a right.
If you don't feel comfortable with some family members or friends to be at your special day, then don't have them there. Your wedding day should be a constant safe space, a space where you and your partner has the freedom to be yourselves and if there's anyone that will rip that away don't let that happen. Relationships can be complicated but have you ever thought that relationships are actually privileges and not rights?
On your wedding day, surround yourself with those who you love, who supports your marriage and helps you become a better person. You have the right to choose who you want at your wedding day and who you don't. Your once in lifetime day is worth protecting - you deserve to have a day filled with what brings you joy.
HOW LONG AHEAD OF TIME CAN I START PLANNING MY ELOPEMENT?
Often people think elopements are quickly planned and rushed. They are wrong. It is possible to plan your elopement successfully one month ahead but most couples start 8 months to 1 year ahead of time.
There is still a lot of planning that goes into elopements, you still have to find vendors you love, book traveling, find the perfect attire, write vows and so much more. Don't leave things for last minute just because you thought it can be planned quickly.
Are you curious to know for how long couples plan their elopement days? Check out these elopement timeline examples.